HAKIM

2011-05-08T11:02:00.002+08:00

The day when I will isolated and gone is arriving. The day where I still remember you've said you had enough of me and being bullshit. So yes, though we are still okay, I am still gonna make the decision of leaving everything soon. So I'll be away and I will only text and reply to text depending on whether I like it or not. And thank you for scaring me and surprising me with your 'stalker' actions and followed me home without me knowing cyg. I love you. It was nice to see you for such a very long time. And yes, I have two new naughty playful kittens that makes me with sleepless nights everyday already. Still they are cute and I love them lots.

2011-05-01T04:56:00.001+08:00

Know what, its no point of me blogging.

About you.

You won't read and even if you do, it's not doing anything better.

You still did not say anything at all about my competition.

Nah its okay.

Will be closing down this blog in 9 days time.

If you dun love me anymore, you can just say.

2011-04-30T11:39:00.000+08:00

If it's starting and you're asleep, is it so hard to just text and say good luck?

Than if its so hard, than why can you text me a goodnight text when Im having my comp and you are going to sleep? What an excuse.

Thanks.

2011-04-26T03:35:00.004+08:00

It comes to a point of time, that I have to take my own stand. My own rights. Doesnt mean you can talk to me like Im some piece of shit. Doesnt mean Im weak I will ALWAYS be weak. I can utterly show you my side. You wanna talk shit, I'll talk shit back towards you. I am still pissed off when I think about it. Yes who doesn't? Plus I have never talk to you in a way before but since you keep talking to me tht way, why must I still hold on to it. Plus why am I even angry about you? You mean ntg. Hmm. Bullshit. And this is not about relationship matters. And yes, I still love my cyg! *hugs*

I don't fucking care what people wanna say about me.

I live my life.

Life's a bitch, get used to it.

2011-04-25T04:44:00.002+08:00

I LOVE MY BF (WAN) NO MATTER WHAT. (:

2011-04-22T04:13:00.001+08:00

This is so true. So me. So us.

My 2nd Family. I love them all. (':

2011-04-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

2011-04-20T23:11:00.002+08:00

I stumble upon this blog, brings me memories.

http://the-ciks.blogspot.com/

Its private btw.

2011-03-19T00:59:00.002+08:00

I have 52 more days.

Im starting to feel nervous and missed.

Idk about you...Cause sighs, you're not the person with feelings...

Always to yourself..I know its nothing to you cause your done with it.

Hmmm...

2011-03-15T01:39:00.003+08:00

Seriously, people wanna be free in their relationship, I love to be controlled most of the time.

Cause it tells me that your love one loves you alot and partly, I've been to free most of the time.

So Im thinking what will happen when you sign that thing, what will happen?

What will happen when Im entering NS?

Wait for me like how I've waited for you?

Please?

Hmmmm, and the years, im 19 already this year, going 20 already. Adult life soon after next year. So many things to think about. Sighs. How I wish i will stay 18 forever.

I love you and i miss you ):

2011-02-26T03:14:00.002+08:00

The want that i needed, simply just reject my calls.

Until a resonable explanation was given, than only pick up my call.

I feel Im not needed actually.

But the wants that Im not needed seems to be there for me. I don't understand why.

I guess im leaving for good. Going forever. I wish you are happy cause you don't show me how you need me when I needed you waiting for more than 3-4 weeks for you to just say "i wanna meet you or how i wish we could meet".

Fatty, you will ALWAYS be my best friend.

I was dumb, I should have gotten home earlier than letting you suffer and waiting for me to past on. I should not have care more on eating, eating can wait, but life can't. Your tears in your eyes, really makes me cry, you crying out for me when I open the door really shocked me and running to you holding and making sure you are safe to go when im beside you. I'm happy tht you do not have to suffer the pain that you have been going through for months and I have never regretted of taking care of you, force feeding you mik every single day so that you have at least energy to stay a little longer. People say, when you take good care of tht living being, tht living being will wait for you in akhirat. Till than, I have to let you go, somehow it's hard cause honestly, Im still thinking of Mew every time. You both are like a family to me. My adik. Now I simply have no one at home. I'm lonely again. But i could live up to that. I guess. sighs.

Rest in peace my dear adik, I love you always and forever. :'(

I simply do not wanna perform later on.

I simply just wanna go to fatty's burial place and just seat and calm my mind with at least 'you' by myside. Oh how I wish. Hahs. Gudnite.

2011-02-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

20th Feb

1 year 6 months.

As per normal, kau lupa, aku ingt.

And Im not in a good mood to be right now.

Everything happen too fast.

Why me? Why you?

And you?

WHY?

Idw karma.

Please :'(

I really wanna get away from everyone soon.

Sighs.

And don't try to contact me back when you avoid me.

Why now? Why now? WHY!?

2011-02-20T23:56:00.001+08:00

Why bother?

You don't bother reading my blog anymore.

Im moving to a new thing now.

Gudbye.

Happy 1 year 10 months and 1 year 6 months btw.

I love you still as always.

Idk about you.

Bye.

2011-02-13T04:22:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful time at prac today with 3ot.

I choreo-ed something new, something that 3ot has nvr done before and Im happy about it though it's just a short song. At least Im trying and I'll keep trying. And for once, the whole bunch of us choreo-ed a song together in just one day. It was shocking cause we have never try to choreo a song together and what's good, on the spot itself. Wow.

And...

...

h.n.i

2011-02-09T03:58:00.002+08:00

Im in a confused, sad and full of emotions state right now.

Partly, people who should be able to understnd me just dun understnd me and blame me for all the particular reasons whn I am not REALLY at fault. Another thing, Im tired of giving my all to everyone but people are just now giving me and showing me back how they really appreciate it. And you, seriously I expected you to cheer me up or at least making jokes with me? Idk? Seriously I have been expecting too much from you fuck. And it pisses me off when ppl keep asking where the fuck are you and I have to lie and say your fucking busy with your life plus you have national service. And its not just one people but its like alot, like seriously alot. And ppl going on reminding me of you like " I like your watch", "You guys look like siblings" *which part to me* "You both have the same smile" ERGH! Can you all fucking stop saying tht. Plus, in school dance, everyone is like fucking in love, with their fucked up life, some even confused whether to date this or that, WTF. Than I'll be the fucking want to listen to them, advice them whereas I myself is not in one piece. Pls ppl, this wont last long, enjoy every bit and pieces of it as you can, cause when things go wrong, they are not the sweet ones as they use to be. They'll change and you'll cry hurting yourself whereas they continue to hurt you instead of making up to you sincerely. Maybe once twice, but after that...trust me. And seriously, I can't wait for me to be gone, away from all you fucked up people with my fucked up life.

2011-01-24T23:34:00.001+08:00

I want this for my birthday this year!

2011-01-16T22:59:00.004+08:00

1. When I tell you I'm fine, I want you to not believe me. When I tell you "It's alright, I'm OK", I want you to not believe me. When I tell you "I love you with all my heart", I want you to believe every breathe I took to say that to you. ~Quoted from a facebook-ian~

2. Even trying to change to be a better person can be tiring. It is very much tiring when you're not noticed by the person you love most. ~Quoted from another facebook-ian~

Number one is still okay to me. Number two I think its kinda true. I feel like Im not noticed despite every attention Im seeking from you. Yes Im seeking attention from you, from you whom I love cause you seems not to have any same feelings for me anymore. I keep repeating that. Do you really really need me or are you pretending to love me when deep down you don't? Because I can't seems to get the answers but I keep feeling sucky all the time.

2011-01-13T23:30:00.001+08:00

Your bored of me.
Should I just be quiet for now?
Sighs.
Akubolehrasasomethingdifferent.

2011-01-11T01:12:00.004+08:00

Even if a drinker says "its just one drink" i don't believe that even though you are someone I know for very long time, cause it's bullshit. When you are drunk, how the fuck do you knw you are going to drink just one drink? You'll prolly end up drinking few more bottles and you'll prolly end up doing stupid stuffs that you might not realise or I might not know. Tht's my perception of a drinker. Sorry no offense I just hate drinkers. And what's worst, let's say, how will you be able to know you can control your drinking knowing you have not been drinking for more than a year or two? How? And why start again when you've stop? Isn't that a good thing to stop?

It's like im slashing myself after so long of not slashing and you'll prolly hate ppl who slash themself cause it bullshit. Well, drinkers & slashing of oneself, no diff to me. It's just a slash why make a big deal? What would you react if I say that. I won't die what. So what if some ppl say drinking is at least better than slashing, which part? You just end up killing your own internal organs slowly, you'll be addicted to it, making ppl whom once trusted you hate you, oh wait, you prolly wont care cause you got other friends or etc right? Oh wait, you knw yourself better right? Right right. But wait, your drunk, how conscious are you that you knw yourself better? Hmm oh you knw you wont get drunk easily. "GET DRUNK EASILY?" Doesnt that sentense shws you are unsure that you'll get very drunk or not. So what the fuck do you mean by you knw yourself better? Whatever the reason I gotten, every single one of it is plain bullshit. Im really sorry la but of course Im mad, your not a drinker and you drink. Drinker zaman dulu uh but now not pe. And Im mad like this cause I care! But I'll end up getting fucked because you're mad when I'm babbling and keep dragging abt it. Of course i'll drag and babble cause you are not giving me explanations that makes sense. Plus, you make me feel should I or should I not trust you that kind of thing. But nvm, everything's settling down now so just think for the sake of someone you love and yourself.

~Side track, it was shocking you told me straight forward, "people sometimes break promises"

Im not trying to find fault here, but why promise me in the first place when you know you can't keep it? Oh wait, you dunnoe that you can keep it until it just appear out of your mind. Riiight.~

And I gave you freedom by allowing you to do anything except for just one thing tht you knw I hate it alot but you had to take advantage of it? *Wonders* But glad that you ask rather than doing it behind my back. I guess. Still waiting for the face to face apology thinggy. Im hurt.

And

Mr strawberry, your conselling, sungguh motivating..somehow. lol

Prolly sooner or later when my brains starts to explode and I cant think of anything, this will happen. HAHA -.-

And like I say

Three faces the sea,

Spikes facing the hand,

If you walk straight,

that's where I am.

2011-01-09T05:11:00.002+08:00

If you fucking know me, you don't fucking asking me a stupid fucking questions which is pretty fucking obvious. What's fucking stupid is that you fucking knw that I fucking hate it. And you fucking made a promise me which I fucking believe and trusted. If I didn't fucking say it, you would not fucking even ask me. You wanna have fun, go, by all means, but by starting back what you have not been fucking started for 2 years, that's fucking bullshit. I fucking swear, I WILL fucking do stuffs which you fucking hate and don't expect anything at all. And bottomline is, I don't fucking care you did not do it, but the fucking thing is you asked me a pretty obvious fucking stupid question! Despite the phone calls, crying etc, which fucking part of the fucking talk on the phone tells you the obvious answers? Yet you still can ask me the fucking questions repeated times. Im just so bloody fucking disappointed, hurt and Idk to trust or not to. Just don't regret to what fucking things I can fucking do. This will be my LAST FUCKING POST. I just wanna fucking be away from blog. FUCKER! :'(((!!!

2011-01-05T15:38:00.001+08:00

Okay honestly, idk why im feeling as though you don't love me and you are bored of me.

Bye

2011-01-04T05:15:00.002+08:00

Im in love with Kurt.

Sighs, I love him. Alot. I love the way he plays the piano. The way he sings. The way he beatbox, the way he plays the guitar. His musically talented. I love him. He really makes me feel *speechless* Sighs.

Idk why am I always waiting when I can just go off and sleep and not care about anything. Hmm.

And it's better to just keep things to myself now.

~Thinking bout you, thinking bout me, thinking bout us..~

2011-01-03T07:19:00.002+08:00

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And it was a shock that I met you just now!

God dun do that again can? It's really shocking. Text me or anyone of us you knw first before coming. I feel so awkward especially having someone new that I've never met before infront of me. Like seriously. Gawd.

2010-12-22T01:18:00.006+08:00

Dear you,

You have been the best I ever had. You have always been there for me when I wasn't myself during the stressful time of my life example last year you know I know. Thank you for everything you bought for me, from charger to headphone, headphone to movies, movies to nixon watch and more. Seriously, I really appreciate all that. And yes, I still do miss the old us, I still do miss how you used to say you miss me alot and love me alot and that you wanting to meet me but now its the other way round i guess, it's me who keeps saying this and that etc...nvm...I just hope we continue to joke like how we used to during our USS trip together, I hope we continue being like that and not fight. Hmm. Thank you for taking care of me when I had high fever that point of time. Buying me porridge everyday and spoon feeding me like a baby. Haha. And asking ppl to bring medicine from Ryna and Haiqal so that I would get better. Blanket-ing me so I would not get cold. Hug me when I needed a hug since I was super sick. Seriously thank you so much. And I miss the time you used to chat with me on msn being so random every time. And Idk why I just feel that your funny and cute being random. I wish we stil could do all that. Haha. Memories. It's been a year I've known you and not entirely I know about you. I am still learning more about you like how shy you are actually and how dull you are. How boring you are and how looser you are. HAHA but at the same time how sweet and nice you can be, how funny you can be and how good looking you can be to me! hee. But at the same time how strict you can be, how fierce you can be and stuffs. And yes like I said, im kental, Im scared when you get angry and I know how you really get angry. But perhaps I haven't seen the real angry side of you idk? Hee. Anyways, I really miss texting you everyday and miss being with you. During the chalet, being with you and getting to sleep beside you for four days straight just makes me want to be with you longer. Next time make chalet 1 week k? LOL. I really want you to say to me how much you miss me actually, just waiting for the day which idk when. Till then, hoping to see you someday real soon okay. Take care of yourself and rest well, besides you always sleep. Pig. I love you so much always and duh i miss you. This is very random cause Im thinking of you now. And I have a damn wisdom tooth growing. ):

2010-12-18T01:58:00.005+08:00

First, I enjoy being with you for four days during your chalet. If can, I want it to continue longer. I hope you like my first surprise, which was me going to your chalet on day 1 without you knowing. Hehe. I hope you like it cause I lied saying I just end work and heading home. Hee. Well, I had fun la with everyone during the chalet, with your surfers, dancers clans, 3ot'ies.

And I hope you like my moist birthday cake which Andreas love it so much rather than the 1st cake and which I think everyone else does. Next time, cake, let me handle k? haha!

And I hope you like my birthday presents from me to you.

I could not think of anything else to buy for you cause like what Halim & Wawa said, you are cerewet. In fact, VERY cerewet. So like I promised you way before Universal Studio was built, that I will bring you there. So I got you a ticket to Universal Studios. Well, I had fun with you the whole day. The rides were awesome! My favourite all time place, NEW YORK , HOLLYWOOD, FAR FAR AWAY & EGYPT! This 4 places, I can never stop going. I so love the shrek 3d. Its freaking awesome. That was like my first time experiencing 3D effects like tht. Way better than those 3D's in cinemas. And the mummy ride, was freaking awesome, I can't believe I was shouting in front of you. Haha and I can't believe you were such a scary cat. Haha.. Looser. :D In fact, what was awesome was that we met Kane coincidentally. Haha. Well, after Universal Studios, just like what I have plan, was to bring you to Songs of the seas. So we did went there. Dinie and Abg Isaac was performing and I enjoyed Songs of the seas with you. I hope you do. And as I promised again, was to bring you to sky tower. And we did. And to your surprise, we took the Luge and Skyride and all these are free! Your birthday is a very lucky want okay! See how good am I, to plan all this just for you. Haha diam la. Whatever it is, I enjoyed the day with you, talking, making stupid jokes calling you looser etc. I love you so much. And Happy 19th Birthday! :D

I hope you like my birthday gifts!

The pillow, bring to your camp okay! :D

2010-12-12T02:00:00.002+08:00

I miss this guy alot.

I miss his active facebook.

I miss him saying ily or maybe imy or at least something tht can make me smile at fb.

Where is all tht?

Hmm..

But one stupid thing I did was to read everything from the day you created your fb account.

I just realize, who you have been contacting and I could read every single thing of it..

Nvm, the main thing now is I really miss the old you. The you, that is superly afraid that I will leave you etc...the you who would do anything to make me smile, the you...nvm hahs..

No use crying over things that have long been gone. Leave with it, move on with it. Besides, your day is coming, I would not wanna spoil it. Bye

2010-12-09T00:15:00.004+08:00

There are lots of things in mind.

I think I don't understand myself now.

One moment, I am okay with you another moment I am somehow just not happy with you.

Idk. Hmmm all I can say the love wasn't as strong as hw it used too.

I miss our normal communications. Jokes and stuffs.

Sighs, perhaps I should just be on hiatus. Would you come and find me back. Or will you just wait and wait till you give up or worst come to worst, ignore? Idk..

Sighs.. Your day is coming soon.. I love you cyg..

Looking at this makes me miss you alot.

Miss webcaming and talking like how we use too.. :(

Oh and do read the convo's too..

I miss...the old us..

I love you.

2010-12-04T01:54:00.002+08:00

Im blogging.

I give up.

I tried keeping this blog private hoping for you to find out, hoping for you to even force me to open this blog back up again, hoping for you..to..nvm....things just change i guess. There you are in front of me and idk why I just have the urge to cry but Im trying not too. Idk why but everything is just different, I wanted to give you time, but you said you dunwan and that everything is fine and you want things to be the normal way it is, but...sighs...idk...I seriously am giving up right now. Idk who is to be blame, what is right and what is wrong. I seriously miss you alot but Idk how to even say it out to you. Whenever I say it out, Idk whether your response is even like last time. Idk? I dun feel like how I used too. Hakim, just stop complaining, whatever you say won't even help or what, it just makes you weak, end up fighting and argueing. Sighs...

Just makes me think, you're bored of me... :'(

Can you just leave and not be in front of me...I can't stand looking at you, you just makes me wanna tear up...I need fatty, fatty i love you!

Bye

2010-11-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

Hiatus

2010-11-06T14:05:00.002+08:00

I swear, idk what else to talked to you.

Idk why but everything just changed.

You said you understand but you force me to be with you after my comp knowing that Im tired.

I said i dunwan to come over cause im tired and I wanna rest after 1 month of training for this finals. And than now you that I don't understand because I know we got no time to spend time with each other and that knowing yesterday after comp was the only day to spend time together. But please luh, it's your clan's chalet, spend time with them and summore like I said Im tired. Which part of tired don't you not understand? And than you said you are sad just because I never came to the chalet? Omg, who is suppose to be sad, me or you? You didnt came to my finals but yet i didn't say a thing. But now, it's just too much that I just have to blog and I hope you are reading this shit.

2010-11-06T09:45:00.005+08:00

Finals was okay la.Okay like honestly I was expecting that we would get 3rd at least. But we didn't. Well it's okay.At least we did prove to the judges that we did improve and we got good comments rather than our audition. And it's a good opportunity and exposure for us to join this comp as judges from o school gave us tips on how to be better. And one of them even said hoping us to come back, huhu so yup, just I think we are lack of experience since we are still consider newbies in dance, so we'll be better, I will make sure of it.

Aww and seeing the both of you like that makes me feel so touched...haha..

especially you, like finally you are being yourself rather than keeping quiet and being different.

Well I hope you both will be happy always! :D

2010-11-04T17:11:00.002+08:00

Fuck you.

2010-11-01T21:47:00.004+08:00

DO NOT BOTHER CONTACTING ME NOW!

I WANNA BE ALONE, AWAY FROM ALL OF YOU PEOPLE.

DON'T CALL ME CAUSE IT'S NOT IN USE.

BYE *FML!*

2010-11-01T16:14:00.001+08:00

Daddy: 'Nk ikot tk gy Sabah nanti december gitu"

Me: 'Confirm date dulu ah'

Daddy: 'Pasal nk book airplane ticket. Ajak Wan skali'

Me: Speechless.

2010-10-31T18:44:00.003+08:00

Its not once or twice, not even thrice, its been TONS of FREAKING FUCKING time you did that to me infront of them! plus some other stuffs without informing and claiming that you informed. You dun knw what I feel there's too much for me to say but Im not gonna even tell it to you cause you know why, its pointless.

"I duwan eat redi"

"Dun eat dun eat la"

2010-10-30T16:13:00.003+08:00

Pape kay?
Shout infront of them.

2010-10-24T22:30:00.002+08:00

And imy already. Sighs :(
I just hate it when another week comes and I have to survive and go through it again waiting till Friday. Partly cause it's a short holiday for me, I get to see my 3OT family cause they are the ones who makes me smile and also I get to see you or text you for a very long time for once. Sighs.

2010-10-20T21:39:00.006+08:00

I pass my BTT!

50/50!

Im so happy of myself!

Hehe I can finally apply for my PDL and start DRIVING BEBEH!!

FTT NEXT!

2010-10-19T09:46:00.002+08:00

Well basically Im at khoo teck phuat hospital right now. Alone. Sighs.

Just recently I got my heart scan so now I have to wait for the doctor. Still I have time for a quick update. Hmm well, I'm not sure what's going on now but I hope everything is alright. Plus, the heart scan was at some point rather a lil painful as the doc literally pressed against my chest for a couple of repeated times which makes me can't breathe. But yea, it's part of the heart scan thinggy. Well, I wanted to see my own heart, but I was not allowed to face to the monitor but had to turn away from it. So ya. Hmm, and I so need you right now idk why. I felt so alone without you having to 'accompany' me even through msg cause you used to always accompany me somehow. Hmm. I hope the results are okay later on when I see the doc. Have to go now. Hmmm bye.

2010-10-17T22:14:00.005+08:00

Yup, yesterday you did this ^ and you said 'i love you' at my ears and I love it plus you know I don't like people talking so close to my ears cause it just makes me go, ticklish with idk how to say but you did it and I love it but I don't like it somehow but I kept laughing at the same time you kiss my neck etc. But, I hate it when it comes to you with your sarcasm. It seriously hurts cause your sarcasm, is just speechless to me. And I don't like it when your angry cause it's scary. And the hatest thing I hate right now is our time to spend time together. Not even a whole day we could be together mainly due to dance, which I could not spend time with you cause I have to sacrifice and put 3OT has a priority. And you have to divide time with your lepak friends..Sighs, I love you so much. Medical appointment 1.01 tomorrow.

I miss receiving text every single minute everyday.

I miss receiving text every night.

I miss chatting with you online.

I miss sleeping beside you.

I miss being beside you all the time.

I miss movie marathon with you.

I miss hugging you.

I miss kissing you.

I miss saying I love you to you all the time.

I miss going RP with you.

I miss going CG with you.

I miss you.

Im a liar don't trust me

2010-10-14T22:22:00.006+08:00

I should just die.

2010-10-12T11:59:00.005+08:00

Two medical appointments next week. Monday, asthma appointment. Tuesday, Heart Appointment.

Sighs.

Im dying...

2010-10-11T23:14:00.010+08:00

I wish we could do this ^

Doing what we used to do last year/this year. More to last year.

Why can't we be like this? Lol.

Why can't we be random like how we used to towards each other? I really miss those moments where we always talked random stuffs that got nothing to do with our life. But yeah, I guess once your in a r/s, everything just change. And Im wondering, why whenever you call, you give that tone like as if you are being forced to call me? Hmm I kinda don't like it cause just makes me thinks that you dunwan to call but yeah. And chat with kane just now and this is what he says to me [01:18:02] kanerayn. says: lol, since wan at ns i take care of you!

Haha kane kane. Hmmm so ya anyways, I appreciate every moment of it. Thank you for everything.

I wish there were lighthouses here in singapore,

where I can seat by the beach near the lighthouse all

alone and stare into the vast open sea clearing every

thought that is in me with the beautiful scenery and calm atmosphere.

2010-10-10T23:36:00.006+08:00

And I felt sorry, and I have felt bad about what happened.

And Iloveyousomuch

2010-10-07T22:18:00.006+08:00

As expected, lost track again. Heh. (:

I think Im not gonna care or bother anymore also.. Im gonna change, be who I wanna be and do what I wanna do except for some stuffs that are beyond limits. I do appreciate everything but I honestly speaking, I do not need all the billions stuffs in the world to make me happy, all I need is one special person. Hehs but...its hard. Yey I knw. Oh and sorry to whoever out there, I hate clubs, so do not ever talk to me about clubs. I don't go clubs. Call me a boring person, I dun fucking care, I don't need no club to enjoy, I can do whatever I do to enjoy instead of going clubs, seeing people smoke, drink etc...Sorry, Im not a clubber's type.. So yup, and Im tired of blogging over and over about the same thing, seriously, like read my previous2 post, everything is almost the same. And I can't wait to meet my twin Kane and my host partner wawa tmrw for 3OT Channel Episode 3. So ya bye.

Happy 1 year 7 months.

na ginugol ng oras sa akin ay hindi maaari, pumunta partido ay maaari. hehs, gawin kahit anong gusto mo, ayaw ko sa pag-aalaga na.

2010-10-07T01:27:00.003+08:00

I found alot of good movies coming up soon and I can't wait for it to be released.

I wanna watch skyline, monsters, let me in, life as we know it and more!

And it's seventh.

As per normal, we can't get to wish each other again. Sighs.

So here it goes, a month has past again and it's seventh.

The day where you literally text me and said "I like you, bye."

Hahs I still remember that. The day where we confess we like each other. The day where I hug you for the first time during dance work cause you bought for me that handphone charger when I just for your help on where to find it. The day when you dedicated a song to me. The day where it changes my life. And since that day, my feelings towards you have never stop and it keeps growing even though when we were not together for like more than 3-4 months after something happen. Well anyways, all I wanna say is that Iloveyousodamn and ireallymissyousodamnuch and ihateyoubeingintherewithoutbeingwithme. Though there are tons and tons and billions of problems we had, I think we are one of the couples that have been patient and understanding towards each other. I guess. lol..Hmmm, sighs, how I wish you are with me now. I miss you beside me. Happy 1 year 7 months and 1 year 2 months! Iloveyoucyg!

2010-10-04T18:28:00.006+08:00

Ermm, three songs dedicated for you!

It's not really a beaty or catchy songs but well it holds menings to it.

Hope you like it.

wan♥

What if I were to be gone one day?
Would you still care to find me?
Ireallyloveyouandivalueourrelationshipsomuch.

2010-10-04T00:51:00.005+08:00

It's Monday and I have to struggle another week of patience and sad-ness deep inside since I have to wait for you again. Sighs, yea, honestly I hate it. Why? Cause Im jealous see-ing my friends with their love ones whereas mine is stuck in there. Hmm, but a good thing about it is it test how patience we are and how strong our love is and that how you have to trust me since Im being led with freedom, if you know what I mean. Plus, it reduces our 'fights'. Hmmm anyways, I had fun with Kane, Wawa and Halim just now. Went to Marina Square and Town and I have to be the big brother since Im the eldest and have to keep asking every shops since we are looking for jobs. Well, I think Im a good brother. HAHA! And actually Im effing tired and sleepy from the travelling just now but I'll sleep later. And Idk why I have this feeling that people are talking about me. Hehs. Who are those people? Idk, anyone! Seriously, Idk wether it's good or bad but here's the catch, I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I live my life and Im happy with it!

Plus, I choose my own decisions not because of whom I'm mixed around with or whatsoever. So if you people out there who wanna talk about this kinda stuffs about me OR anyone of your own friends, please just shut up and keep those comments to yourself cause it just decribes how bitch you are. Seriously, this is for anyone and it's just a feeling of mine only. So ya it's my blog I'll blog whatever I want but of course, there's limits. Oh and about school, please? I've already tell my schedule earlier on the days I could not come and since you guys said too bad I have to change plan, than let's make it fair, too bad you guys who are staying FAR away to wake up early and meet at 8am and for those who have to leave early leave. Deal? Heh. Im happy now. And Idk why nowadays Im in a dunnoe don't care mood except for some stuffs.

Anyways, I really can't stop thinking about the gift you bought me. Hee I told mama about it you know. Hee. And Im gonna take good care of it just like how am taking care of you. And as you said, Im gonna wear it everyday. Hee.Iloveyoucyg!Imissyoucyg!Ineedyoucyg! Iloveyousodamnmuchluh!! :D

143w♥!

2010-10-03T00:27:00.004+08:00

Okay whatever with yesterday.

Just like Kane said to me, sleep,
wake up, move on. LOL.

Anyways, I had fun today with you besides the hectic day yesterday of not spending time with you. Had window shopping with you, pastamania-ing and movie-ing despite it was the first time in my entire life that I slept in the movies. SORRY! And as much as I am appreciating the gift you gave me, I still somehow can't accept it cause the gift you gave me is super duper expensive and I didn't even ask you to buy for me that. I even said I wanna buy myself using my own money but ergh! Idk what to say but seriously thank you so damn much!! I really can't believe you bought me that! ARGH!!

ILOVEYOUSODAMNMUCH!!!

I love it so much that I don't want any scratches on it.

And if can, I want it to stay in the box always.
143w!

2010-10-02T00:50:00.004+08:00

Im just disappointed at myself somehow for this competition cause I think I can do better but...entah la..Idk Im just disappointed, though its a small competition, it's a very tough fight since the other competitors are effing strong. But like what my abg isaac use to say, dun let them bring you down no matter how good or bad they are, cause when you are on the stage, the stage is yours. Hmmm..Sighs..

And partly I was super disappointed with you. Everyone was like asking where are you but you just went off like that. I thought you are gonna stay with me throughout but you left. For the fact that the day before, I keep telling everyone how excited am I to meet you how much I really miss you and wanna hug and stuffs all. But...hmmm..I admit that I am so jealous seeing the rest with their love ones supporting them hugging them after the comp and stuffs but there I was looking for you but you really went off. I just think that being too excited about you is just *speechless* And why I don't feel in return on how much you really miss me? Sighs.. But still I appreciate you coming down to see me just for awhile. Thnks anyways. Sighs...Bye

Which part of it shows that I don't appreciate?

2010-10-01T00:29:00.002+08:00

Shooting's finally done.

Im relief for now. Not sure if there's gonna be a reshoot or not.

So basically, I had my dance practice today and finally after like so many days or even weeks of not practicing, I finally did and what's worst, my competition starts like at 730pm later on. Hmmm. Whatever it is, imysm!!!!!!!

I swear!! IMYSM!! Sighs, and Idk what's tmrw plan between me and you. I wanna be with you till sunday can? Hmmm...Imysodamnmuch and ibloodyloveyousodamnmuchtoo!

I need you. ):

2010-09-28T23:58:00.003+08:00

Can I have her eyes?

She's cute

My 'family'

I love this picture so much^^

Like couple annot? LOL

And look at my newphew! CUTESTUFF!!!

Today was kinda fun!

And imissyousodamnmuchcyg!

Talking to you otp just now when I was in the bus otw back home was so called fun.

Reason idk? Maybe because you laugh? And it's very VERY rare to hear you laugh since you are a lifeless person with no emotions. Hehe ILOVEYOU! And Imissyousomuch!!!

2010-09-28T01:35:00.004+08:00

Day 4 of shooting was fun. And that's good. I love my production crew.

And today is day 5 of it. Will be heading to cck and botanical garden later for shooting. Huhu.

I hope it's gonna be another round of fun day too.

Lot's of things happen during shooting but still I think our crew worked well together and we get things done fast and easy. Huhu. Good good. And again, no matter how fun or whatever, Im still thinking of you. You there, my lover! (: Hmmm Idk why i miss you so much already now. I don't like and I hate it when you're gone. Seriously speaking I don't like.

And to my dancer's of 3OT, good luck later for your performances! Sorry can't come down to watch since I've got shooting. So yup2 dance your heart out.

And iloveyousomuchcyg!

And imysodamnmuchtoo!

Come home faster!!!! :(

143W!

2010-09-27T02:16:00.004+08:00

Shooting was fun just now!

Shoot at my sister's crib and me and my sister perangai babi tk share kuih tart to my crew. LOL!

Oh and I passed my BTE 99% out of 100.

Wow. I so can't wait to take my BTT next which is next month.

And than I can proceed with my practical as well as FTT.

And 4 more days to wait for you.

Sighs!

HATE IT!

And im gonna miss you again! CB! Stupid ah you. Hate it when you go.

I miss you so much already sia now. Like seriously, your voice your presence especially with your cute looking face with your new specs all. Haiya imy so much already :(

Tetap I know I won't do anything behind your back just as I've promised. I keep to my words.

Faster uh friday!

And forget to mention, I had fun with you last fri & saturday. It was great being with you just for 2 days. Movie-ing again soon okay?

Iloveyousomuch uh!

143W!

2010-09-26T16:20:00.003+08:00

Sunday, September 26th 2010.

I just hate sunday's now. Reason, I guess you should know.

Anyways, I had a great time with Kak Siti yesterday night.

It was nothing great but I hope you enjoyed the mini celebration you had with me.

It was great to chat and talk things out with you after so long. And thnks for Along too for the last min plan of meeting up and buying Kak siti cake. And for the open house thinggy too. Hee. Well Happy 20th birthday to you kakak! Haha be happy okay and smile always! I love you so much do meet up soon alright!!

And now, Im back to my old routine which is shooting since tmrw's schooling. Haiz.

Hmm, and a few more hours to you going back. Hmmm have to wait again. People said we are patient towards each other and I kinda agree despite all the problematic problems. Hmmm well, Im gonna have to be patient waiting for you again. Hmmm k la, iloveyousomuch and imgonnamissyou than. Take care ppl and bye.

2010-09-22T23:20:00.003+08:00

Its 2 more days to meeting you.

And you, it's four more days to your special day.

Hmmm..

I wanna meet you but I can't.

Ergh! Clash with my shooting. Hmmm

And scratches again on my hands for no reason. Hehs.

Classmates tegur and say how come like that, I said idk, and please my cat dun scratch me for no reason unless I play around with her. And chest pain not going away.

When I sneeze, it hurts. Blearh!

2010-09-21T00:55:00.003+08:00

3 more days.

72 more hours to go.

4320 more minutes to go.

259 200 seconds more to go.

Iloveyousomuch.

Imissyousosomuch.

Ineedyoudamnbadly.

Please come back fast? ):

Im still waiting...for you...

143

2010-09-20T01:51:00.003+08:00

Happy 1 year 6 months & 1 year 2 months anniversary.

I'm wishing it alone since your hp is off.

Hmm.

You are the best I ever had and I will always love you and care for you.

I'll do anything for everything you had done for me and I really mean it.

How am I ever gonna repay you? Hmm.

I appreciate everything you've did and I really hoped you like being with me though all the minor and major fights we had that lead us to big problems. MacDonald's for you when you're out okay? I promised you that. Happy 1 year 6 months & 1 year 2 months anniversary again to you my love. Iloveyousomuch and imissyousomuch!

2010-09-19T14:35:00.003+08:00

The past just suddenly haunts me again.

Sighs.

Like just of all a sudden.

And the dream that I had that make me woke up from sleep at 6am plus was *speechless*

And i just miss you so much. Sighs.

MISSES!

2010-09-19T00:53:00.003+08:00

5 more days.

Faster come home please? I have been waiting and waiting and have been patient for the past week without you. And damn it, I may look normal but inside me is torture. All I can do is keep thinking of you. You and you and you. Everything is just you dammit. And when I got a text, all I could hope for was that the text was from you but sadly its not. And whenever the clock strikes 7pm I'll be checking my phone waiting for your calls, and sometimes you do but mostly you don't. So I'l continue doing my stuffs until the clock strikes 10pm and 10pm onwards is the normal routine that I will always get a call from you every night. And when you called, I'll be like so darn happy to hear your voice but when you go on saying about your running etc, I'll be like whatever jgn action. Lol. Haha. And Im happy that you still cared and asked this and that but sometimes to me da mcm membebel. Bnyk sngt bual. haha ngada2 tau aku. And when you says you're going off now, I'll be like sighs, I have to freaking wait for another 1 whole day until 10pm to get your calls again. And lately, Kane has been my listening bitching twin. We'll be the want always chatting on msn talking about stuffs and life and sometimes I'll tell him Imissyousodamnmuch and he'll be the one asking me to relax and be patient. At least I still got you twin. Plus the crew, they miss you too you know! I will always tell them Imissyou and I think they are bored of me saying that. Lol. Plus diddie also miss you alot okay. Kesian die kerja sorg2 without you working with her. Well basically everyone misses you, everyone that are closed to you of course, duh especially me!!!! I miss dancing with you can? Miss you training me up and scolding me for not doing properly. Miss detailings. Miss all the stuffs during prac we had. Miss waiting for you at BNS and walking to RP, miss seating together at out tmpt prac while waiting for the rest, miss watching online movie, miss watching midnight movie at jurong point, EVERYTHING! PLEASE COME BACK FAST!!!

And your $8 is still with me, I still keep it cause you spent too much!

Come back fast okay imysm!. ):

And speaking of that, I MISS MY ABG ISAAC AND KAK SITI ALOT TOO!

DAMMIT LUH!

Come back please to me? I miss lepaking with the both of you kat dome, bwh block talking and bitching and laughing. Miss all the pracs we had before. Miss the both of your laughter and smile. Miss the comfort you guys gave me when Im down. And, what I really missed, is 3OT. The whole lot bunch of us together, going for outings and stuffs. I miss that. I miss you so much cyg, abg isaac, kak siti, 3OT. ):

143

2010-09-16T23:09:00.010+08:00

I ♥ this:

A lil bit like us? (:

Except for the married part.

I want a nixon watch. Black red...Hmm..

And, 143W!

2010-09-15T22:29:00.006+08:00

Idk why but SOMETIMES we do look alike together. Haha

And it reminds me of the day when your friend said I look like your younger brother except for the hair, skin tone and you wearing spec. Lol!
Okay I've been pretty busy with school now. And guess what, IM ENJOYING IT!

For real! Like finally school is not boring after all! Have been editing video's and planning for my final year project and also have been watching short film! Idk what's into me but I think making a short film is fun except for the paperwork stuffs. And today I broke two records. One, for staying up in school till 8pm plus and the other for being superly sleepy tht Im actually squinting my eyes while typing and Im gonna head to bed straight after blogging. So yup, see cyg, I never tido lmbt today. LOL.

And I love this short film, the angles, the effects, the colour correction etc..it's nice..

And I'll never stop thinking of you even though Im busy with school. I'm happy we still get to talk otp every night, everyday. And I'm thankful for that. And once you're out, I wanna watch movie with you can? Devil and pirana 3D please? Hee. 8 more days till we get to meet so I think it should be okay I hope. But I'll have to rush back for shooting after that okay? At least Im juggling both (: And seriously imysdm and ilybloodybadly okay frog?

Everynight, the creature inside me will be released. This creature keeps haunting me engulfing me like Im a food.

I tried to fight back but I can't. And even if I win, it only takes awhile for it to multiply and become more and more.

This creature is commonly known as 'imy' and this 'imy' is hurting me so badly. IMISSYOU!

2010-09-14T00:47:00.005+08:00

Well it's good to hear your voice, I hope your doing fine.

And if you ever wonder, Im lonely here tonight.

Lost here in this moment. And time keeps slipping by.

And if I could just have one wish, I'd have you by myside.

Oh, oh I miss you. Oh oh, I need you.

I love you more than I did before. And if today i don't see your face.

Nothing's change no one can take your place.

It get's harder everyday.

Say you love me more than you did before....

I hope you still rmbr this song i dedicate to you months ago. (:

rindu kau bodoh.

To receive your call was already the happiest thing I can ever have for a day.

Even when I have to talk to you for just 15 minutes.

It already meant alot. And idk why I find you so cute to say your going off to sleep and within 1 hour later you call me up again saying that you can't sleep and stuffs and I got to talk to you till your asleep. Ish. I hope you will be fine and rest well okay!

And 19 November please be fast. Reason being, its my BTT. And I really hope I pass both my evaluation and BTT so that I could proceed with my FTT and practical. I will constantly keep on booking once I complete my BTT. And another thing is that I gotta attend a check up for my heart at the new hospital located at Yishun. Haiya, I got no one to go with me. And please, don't tell me the result is bad about my heart since I have been having frequent chest pain recently till my dad had to 'urot' my chest. Haiz. Suddenly, I die ah? LOL, bullshit.

So yea, anyways, school sucks.

Same old thing. Boring.

I only got shooting to be done. Do support my production crew okay.

And yes Im officially missing you so much after hearing your voice otp just now. IMY AND ILYSDM1!

2010-09-12T01:17:00.002+08:00

I had a great time today with you.

And now I've already missed you. Alot.

Funny, when you have someone with you, you tend to fight etc but when your loved ones is gone, you'll realise how much you actually love that one special person. You'll learnt to realise to treasure that person even more. To love and care that person even more. But than the worst part is that you'll tend to get worried and you simply cant get him/her out of your mind. Sighs..

Well, getting to go out and spend time with you just now really makes me 'lepaskan rindu' just for a day. Getting to eat fish & co with you for the first time with you! Hehe makes me so happy. Ate fish splatter for 2 which we thought was small end up was huge. And wtch resident evil at marina etc...ergh, im gona miss all that for this 2 weeks since you are not going out for 2 weeks! All I have to do is just to wait for your calls every night and itu pun if your batt doesn't went flat. I hope. Pls, take care okay. I promise you I will tc of myself here and won't do anything which you don't like. I'll wait for you and will be fetching you again on the 24th. Till than, iloveyousodamnmuch and imissyousodamnmuch!

2010-09-10T03:18:00.002+08:00

Burn the al-Quran day?

That's total madness.

I mean like who in the world would wanna burn someone's religious book and broadcast it live to the whole world? Sighs. What is happening to the world. I thought everyone want's world peace but by doing this, don't he (who wanna burn the al-Quran) think of the consequences? Fine if you are angry about what happened years ago I totally could understand, even I myself is angry and upset but by doing this is not the way to solve a problem. It's just creating more chaos soon in future. It just makes me think that this is the work of illuminati. But yea who knows? It also makes me think that it's one of the signs of kiamat if these were to really happen. Sighs, can people please wake up and let's pray for a world peace? Please?

And seriously this chest pain of mine have not been going off, it's really painful and this sucks.

Sighs. Worst still I dreamt that I died. HAHA! But it seems so real. Hmmm..And yes, I was happy to see you when you were out. It was like the happiest moment after days of not texting each other properly and have to wait for you to call me in the night. Sighs. All I know this is just for awhile cause you will be back in this sunday and not be going out till 24th! Sighs. And this is gonna keep repeating till next year feb. But I am gonna try and adapt to changes.

Whatever it is, I loveyousomuch and imissyousomuch.

Selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin people. (:

My policeman

2010-09-09T02:22:00.004+08:00

Text diary 101 done and has already been sent to you.

I hope you reads it once you on your hp to knw what I did and stuffs. (:

And it was great hearing your voice just now to receive a call from you at night.

And its only a few more hours for me to see you. Lucky your place is near to mine. Im gonna fetch you every time like your my son. I'm gonna be there for you okay.

And recently I have been having heart pain. As in chest pain and it really hurts. And the more recent want I had was just now and seriously I can't breathe and knowing that I have a heart problem just make more more paranoid. How great cn this be? Please let 19 october come soon for my check up so I can really know what is going on with me. Sighs. Anyways, I have been hugging the love box which was supposed to be the Famous Amos cookie you bought for me since just now. And somehow it makes me closer to your heart. HAHA omg I'm like sakit jiwer haha. Nah just missing you and idc what people wanna say also. It's my life. It's our life. And I still keep all the candles from our anniversary cake and my birthday cake candles in the box. Plus our picture in it. Hee ilysdm and imysdm!

2010-09-07T23:45:00.003+08:00

How come I feel like as if I've just lost you just like that even though its not?

I guess the answer is because it just happen just like that without expecting it.

Just to hear you call me at this time and say I miss you so much makes me feel a bit better.

Even if your call was just for awhile, it means alot to me.

Accept for the fact that you have to whisper which is super irritating cause at first I thought you were crying and was not okay. You make me damn hell worried for a second. Hope you are doing fine in there. Your voice, how I wish I could hear that everyday, every single time. I wish.

And please take care okay! Will be updating you wherever I am and telling you what I did. You'll be my diary from now on. And will be expecting your calls every night. I love you so much!

And for once, give me a better 7th day for us to celebrate. It's been months our 7th has been a bad one. Pls.

2010-09-07T14:44:00.006+08:00

Happy 1 year 6 month anniversary and 1 year 1 month anniversary to you.

Yes I know it's been a tough want throughout this 1 year plus but we are still holding strong.

I've already forgive you on what you texted me but I would also like to say sorry to you for all those stuffs too.

The sad thing now is, all of a sudden you are going off today. And I never even get to have the chance to meet you for so so so long and all of a sudden you are going off? It's easier if I were to live near you but the fact is Im not, Im like at the other end. And Im not prepared cause you keep telling me it's still long way to go and you even make fun of it yesterday night but than it was real. Sighs. Im gonna wait for you. Wait till I rot and die idc but Im still gonna wait for you. I hope you would call me and text me when you are away and also contact me when you get out of it. I will remember what you say and I'll keep it and I hope you will too. Please. Sighs. This sucks.

Anyways Iloveyousodamnmuch and yes imissyoursodamnmuchmore.

We'll meet again..I hope.. sighs :(

I'll wait for you, I'll promise you.

Seventh.

Im loosing my mind..

thinking about you all the time..

therefore like you told me, I need to be strong..

and I still love you always no matter what.

2010-09-06T18:48:00.003+08:00

Same thing happened again.

Say little bit, get scolding in return.

Fine maybe it was me? Maybe.. But at least be nice and talked nicely to me? I talked nicely adn wasn't rude or sarcastic to you but why must you? I swear I hate it. Seriously, idk how to be opened to you to even share anything with you cause you'll just be angry at whatever I say.

And yesterday I had a blast with my KLDH & my sister especially my nephew Hairi and niece Aira. Hee.

Uncle Kimmy & Hairi

Uncle and aunties plus Kakak and Hairi & Aira

2010-09-02T03:07:00.004+08:00

I swear I have no idea what to react.

Every single time I joke about like "buat ape je" whenever you were to reply late or what and than you start saying I'm being perangai or I keep carik pasal. Well for the fact that actually Im not. I swear Im not. I wanna play around with you and joke and stuffs but you keep being so hot headed. I swear idk what is wrong with you. The little thing you could do is to make me smile at least but all the time sia all the time I got treated is anger. And idk why im tearing as im typing. And than you'll keep threatening me about the incident where you gave me a 2nd chance. Now i just realise I feel like a stupid useless person whose being used. And idk what to do about it. It was not like this last time but I dunnoe what triggers you to changed being from a sweet person I used to know to a hot headed anger management person. A little thing I say would trigger an explosion to you. I just feel so useless and upset and have been pretending to be okay and infact I think I was about to be okay and than things just have to happen. Therefore I declare I give up on all this shit.

2010-08-31T01:55:00.004+08:00

And I wanna get done and over with my VDP/FYP asap.

This shit is killing me! And hmm ya...

Miss your laughter. Miss your smile. Miss your voice. Miss your kisses. Miss your scent. Miss your jokes. Miss your sarcasm. Miss everything about you. And how come you two seems to be alike? Hmmm and idk what to say, all I know I love you, always.

2010-08-28T22:32:00.001+08:00

I wanna migrate.

I dunwanna stay here.

I wanna go away.

FML.

FYL too.

What's happening? No more time spending together..

I wana migrate!

Once again FML, FYL.

2010-08-27T01:08:00.001+08:00

I officially got no mood.

Sighs.

2010-08-26T15:19:00.002+08:00

Now I just feel....

*speechless*

sighs

And I dunnoe why I just wana be an animal tamer if I can get a chance to be one.

And if possible I wanna own a lion/tiger cause you get to play with them all the time, a polar bear cause it's cute and you cn hug it when you're sad and a dolphin cause they are super cute and you can interact with them when you're lonely. Hee

And side track, Im glad that you apologize to me for a year of not talking to me.

Well honestly I've already forgive you for so long. Just waiting for you to tell me that you're sorry. Well I just wish you good luck in whatever you're doing. (:

2010-08-26T01:01:00.002+08:00

Seriously, how many kind of cruel human beings who treats animals like as if they are some toys are there??? God! I swear if I ever see anyone doing this to not just cats, but other animals, if I can I wanna slap their face sia. WTH, seriously, human beings need to used their brains and stop thinking as if we are superior! Learn to treat animals well too cause they are living things too. Stupid lady!

2010-08-25T00:50:00.002+08:00

Okay Im so darn excited for 3OT's upcoming competition.

Reason because it's been so long we join a competition and this will be another come back from us. Tk habis2 sia kita come back. Lol. Just that this time, not everyone will be dancing due to their own commitments, well, its okay, gonna make you guys proud too. And Idk why Im like preparing everything now when the competition is in october. Partly because it's the fasting month plus raya is coming and N levels too so all this will contribute to our own commitments which will be hard for us to prac so I have to start now. Right? Anyways, I've done remixing two of the songs I'm gonna choreo and 1 song has already been choreo-ed whereas the other, sighs, cracking my brain sia. I need help and most probably from you.

2010-08-22T13:53:00.001+08:00

Okay fine, 1 year 2 months?

Alright2 sorry I've been missing the 2 months but at least I rmbr-ed the 1 year. And its good that I still rmbr every single date and month of 21. LOL. BYE!

2010-08-20T16:00:00.002+08:00

The man who literally beat up the dog to death shall be punished for his wrong doings!

How can a human being be so cruel and evil to beat an animal up and kill it!!

Especially what they call it, man's best friend!

OMG!! How can you be so cruel sia! What does that dog deserve for you to beat it up till it die?

It's a part of living organism and humans does not have the rights to take other soul including animals. We are not god. Omg, I swear I can cry sia knowing about this. Sighs, I can't believe animal abuse exist in Singapore. Sighs.

2010-08-18T01:34:00.001+08:00

2010-08-15T02:58:00.002+08:00

So basically a bored day turns out to be kinda fun since everyone whom I suppose to go out with today was with me. Great. And finally I bought a new bag! Tagger la kn. Lol, now I want clothes and either berms or long pants e.g jeans idk. Anyways, met almost everyone that I miss so much today at Eunos. Well I didn't wanna go and attend the dance competition but since my clans wanted to I just followed them. Met ryna, and some others too. And 3ot plan to buka on friday with abg how great. Finally! A reunion. Please everyone make yourself free, this is like once in a lifetime. Wait till I own a driving license and I promise you guys I bring you out for dinner! Hehe!

Miss abg so much with us around. (:

Incomplete 3OT members.

2010-08-14T01:01:00.003+08:00

'There comes a time when you have to choose to turn the page or close the book"

This was what I wrote at my fb status and I kinda get replies. Well I kinda agree to the status.

So how? Am I suppose to turn the page or close the book?

Some says turn the page, some say close it.

But who do I listen to?

No one but just myself.

But Im confused.

Sighs...

Why am I pretending that Im okay? Why when I know that I am I don't want to do anything about it? Why am I holding it?

2010-08-09T07:05:00.016+08:00

No matter how surrounded I am with happiness, Sadness will always lingers around with me.

My question is why?

But perhaps I would not get the answer.

Hurt.

Everyone has a choice to make.

And one of them is me.

I need to be strong and I have to stay strong.

Please.

Sighs things that could at least makes me happy now & in future,

- Pass my BTT, FTT and complete my practical lesson and get my driving license.

- Get a car in a few years time if possible after getting my license.

- Get either a digi cam or DSLR.

- Take up piano lesson.

- Improve on dance together with my crew.

- Get my new home broadband and a mobile broadband.

- Get my sony ericsson w705 back from repair.

- Get a new bag and some new clothes.

- Get a new macbook pro keyboard protector since I lost it.

- Get an iMac and sell away my computer.

- Get a room makeover soon.

- Get a lil kitten.

- Get an airplane ticket and fly to perth or any country for a holiday trip just to ease my mind.

- Get more and more loacker chocolate waffer every single day.

- Have a crew reunion back with every single members of 3OT, the current main 15 of us.

- Out with both my parents and possibly my whole entire family back to the beach like how we used to last time every weekends.

- Out with parents together along with my sister, brother, and two of my niece.

- Get my happiness back.

I hope to get all these sooner or later. Slowly kay hakim.

And these ad just makes me smile somehow.

2010-08-08T10:30:00.001+08:00

I seriously think I need to get out of this country. Just for a moment. Perhaps on a vacation just to ease my mind off things that has been happening. More on a hiatus like what I did before back when I was in sec four. No contact with anyone except for the ones that I love and the ones that don't give me problems. But when can that be? Idk. Sighs.

2010-08-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

Seventh.

2010-08-05T02:31:00.000+08:00

2010-08-02T00:06:00.003+08:00

How I wish backspace occur in life. lol.

2010-08-01T10:46:00.003+08:00

Its august!

Wow, time past by so fast and i've completed my first BTL lesson. Going for my BTL lesson 1.02 later on. woohoo. Im so excited and at least this will keep me busy and prevent me from thinking of the shits I had repeatedly. Well at least for a moment though. Since you are always fucking busy, why not I make myself busy too. So im gonna keep booking and learn and learn.

2010-07-31T19:54:00.001+08:00

2010-07-31T12:14:00.004+08:00

Last day of july.

Still things are not changing.

It's the same old shit.

Wow.

Haha

How's my day yesterday?

Ermm dun bother asking and knowing.

How's my day today? I have no freaking idea.

Sighs. I just hate it when people keep giving you hopes and you're excited about it but in the end, empty words and you just feel pissed and disappointed. If it happens onces and twice its okay, but its like almost everytime. I hate it when things are already in a bad situation and people tend to make it worst. I hate it when Im already so happy and than suddenly something make you feel so angry and your mood changes totally. Its like my fist just wanna punch your face. Bloody hell.

Oh well happy birthday cousin naufal. (:

Anyways, I had the bestest shortest sweetest birthday surprise ever in my life yesterday.

I was told to step out from house and to go to the lift lobby, upon rushing there you go with the cutest birthday cake with our pic on it and candles being light up and you singing happy birthday to me. I was shocked and a thousand words are running in mind. Speechless but seriously I appreciate everything being done. Thanks you so much. And to my sister, thank you for the sweet video despite people thought we are couple. LOL!

2010-07-29T23:45:00.006+08:00

Its already 30th july.

My 18th birthday.

Im officially 18.

Wow how great. Sighs.

Happy Birthday to me.

2010-07-29T11:04:00.002+08:00

Hoping everything will be okay. Sighs

2010-07-29T01:03:00.001+08:00

2010-07-28T22:19:00.005+08:00

2010-07-28T10:34:00.001+08:00

2010-07-27T22:52:00.005+08:00

I just wish you were there with me when I wake up in the morning and having the urge to kiss you. It is approximately like a few more days if I were to count to you going away.

I don't wanna even think about it.

But sighs. And yet Im stil feeling this way. I still feel you are just being plain old sucker. Like I said, I'm just pretending all this.

Playing pretend, till when? Idk.. Hmmm.

2010-07-26T21:11:00.002+08:00

Im still in a state whereby I don't know what Im feeling.

I still feel irritated by you infact everything about you is just irritating.

I've been faking a smile all this while luh. Pretending to be okay when deep down I feel like screaming my ass off. It seems like as if you just know me siak. Jangan jadi bodoh ah please ah.

Ergh cnt believe this is happening every single day since last month and it's gonna be August for goodness sake already sia. I feel as though I've lost. Empty within and because of all this, I seems to have changed. I admit. Changed to what? Your choice to judge. And whatever reasons you gave yesterday, I DON'T FUCKING CARE YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. SO?????????????????????

And I really feel drifted apart. Ergh i cnt even share with anyone. Share pun salah. Nk share ngn kau pun nanti gaduh.

2010-07-25T23:52:00.004+08:00

What is so hard about informing?

Especially to us?

I don't care about wanting to use it or not but the thing is informing?

They didn't say a word but hell yeah Im saying it.

Cause you made promises but hehs. Papeluh nak, asalkan kau bahagia.

I don't trust you anymore.

2010-07-24T01:21:00.005+08:00

2010-07-23T00:05:00.003+08:00

Give me, the strength to make it through.

Help me, find ...

Cause all is over do...

And it, looks like I haven't got a clue..

Seems like, so much is going on...

On this road...

Because of you, I became like this.

I was never like this as you know.

Asshole. I hate you.

2010-07-22T01:03:00.010+08:00

Unfortunately, my story was not chosen. Hmmm I'm kinda disappointed but at the same time there is no point of you fighting back to have the best chosen pitch like some others who are just being plain old irritating complaining just now. Anyways, Im happy for my friend who was chosen for the pitch cause we made a deal hoping that one of us got chosen since we want to be in the same group doing the final year project together. LOL. haha so yup 8 of us has been selected and I can't wait for everything to begin. First paperwork has already been done just now in class and hell yeah, Im gonna be busy for I think 4-5 months already. Okay, anyways, whatever I said yesterday in text, I do hope you put into considerations. Whatever I said, I was serious. I just hope, sighs....I just hope...Im not expecting anything but I just want....hehs...

A reply back of what I said seems so hard.

A message send through email or fb seems not appreciated at all.

No replies also.

And I keep thinking of what is gonna happen and hahs nvm. And I'm still having this weird odd feeling everynight. Every single night. Sighs

FUCK YOU LUH

'Never take someone for granted, hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones.'

p.s

-iwaly-